It was surreal walking off the elevator (after surviving the ER and being told in no uncertain terms that our baby would not go home that night) onto the same floor that I left with her 10 weeks (now 11) ago. We even stayed in the exact same kind of room and she slept (at times) in the same weird bassinet thingy.
Seeing your baby struggle to breathe has to be one of the most awful experiences a mom can withstand. (Many of you other moms who have experienced baby trauma drama may argue with that statement). I fluctuated between stubborn optimism and terror in ways that made me so stressed out I could smell the stress on my clothes. For those who have ever been this stressed, you KNOW that smell. You KNOW what I mean.
Of course, now that she is home and only hooked up to one monitor, all that worry seems excessive. Ahhhh, the beauty of hindsight.
A note to all the doctors and nurses out there:
-LIE to parents when they ask if this could be life-threatening. You KNOW what we want to hear, just say it even if it might not be true!
-Please don't make me beg you for Tylenol for my baby ever again. Would YOU want to experience this type of infection including fever without so much as a drop of medicine?
-When a baby is obviously dehydrated and feverish, don't beat around the bush with the ole saline drip. Her IV is there for a reason, use it. Give my angel an intravenous sip!
-When a baby is obviously dehydrated and feverish, don't beat around the bush with the ole saline drip. Her IV is there for a reason, use it. Give my angel an intravenous sip!
A note to Mimi, Anna and Mary Helen:
-You three are simply amazing! Saint Mimi's 24-hour help made a traumatic situation tolerable. Anna, your patience and obedience and just overall acceptance of the situation kept me sane. Mary Helen, the breakfasts were amazing! We were so well taken care of that it became a joke among the nurses! We even shared some coffee with them!
I love you all.
A note to Elizabeth:
-I love you and could not imagine life without you. (I just recently HAD to imagine it and it was unbearable). Thanks for being a trooper and getting better quickly!
And to finish with a humorous flourish, a picture of an exhausted baby and daddy, both happy to be home today"