Sunday, September 20, 2009

Anna was it worth it?.....

We got home after a tiring night at Granny and Grandpa's and put you to bed early (6:30) to make up for the fact that you napped 25 minutes TOTAL (all. in. the. car.).

So was it worth it when I went back in to check on you when I still hear you playing in your crib 30 minutes later? Even knowing that going in might reinforce you stayinng awake?


Because you struggled to stand up in your little sleep sac to get to me. Because when I picked you up to nuzzle you, you let me kiss you. Because when you wanted to be rough in your little baby intensity you put your hands on my cheeks and said "bite mommy?" and proceeded to give me big fishy kisses on my cheek. Because you then put your little baby hands on my neck and said, over and over, "Mommy lick up" and pointed my face to the ceiling to "look" up, and "lick douwn" and pointed my head down, over and over in your cute little voice.

Was it worth it?
All those sleepness nights? All the Mommy-of-a-Toddler daily frustration? All the giving and giving and giving?


All of it. All the sickness and growing and tiring and birthing and bleeding and feeding and not sleeping and the growing and changing in perception and proportion and portion.

All of it.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Ahem....regarding Anna

I'd like to take a second to tell you about my little girl. In this past week, she has made an amazing transition. I watched it calmly and with interest, as only a parent can do.

Anna has begun to take an interest in the world WITHOUT. ME. Now, she explores toys without needing to bring them to me to play with/fix/dress/show/move. She disappears around the corner for ten minutes or so now and it's not just to go poop:-) I peek in every once in a while if I can't hear her moving things around or talking and she is there, ya know, in her own little world. Without. Me.

Don't read this regret. Or any sort of loss. I'm touched and delighted that she's finally making her world her own. I'm astounded, actually. One day about five days ago she woke up as a girl in charge of her world. This week there has been a distinct lack of neediness. Of needing another person all. the. time. And this week, when she has been involved with someone, she is more focused on them. More focused on jumping on Curt (playing "hop on pop"), or listening to me read her a book, or taking the cushions off the couch and jumping, or digging in the sand with her friend Sophie. She has begun to watch people intently and mirror them. When I knelt on the steps and leaned forward on another step, she mirrored me. Another time, she disappeared quietly downstairs WHILE a friend was over (unheard of, before) and when I called down to her, she didn't answer. Naturally, being a mom, I headed right downstairs to make sure she was OK and she was standing in front of the coffee table, staring down intently at the Wii Fit box, attempting to stand in the yoga pose shown on the front of the box. Too cute.

Now, I'd be lying if I didn't have SOME strange feelings about her new development. But I'm not sure I know what those feelings are yet. This stage is too new and I was waiting for a few days to see if it was temporary.

But here we are, visiting at Granny's, and this girl went to sleep (late, of course) with no fuss and today she ate a good lunch and went down for her nap, again, with no fuss. She is calm and in charge. And even playing at Granny's this morning, getting small "ouches" like any over-tired and therefore awkward toddler does, she would cry briefly and go on about her day.

LAST week, she would've spent all morning being a wreck and then still napped poorly. But not now. Oh no.
You GO, girl!