Wednesday, February 25, 2009


Neglecting email...

Neglecting house...

Neglecting blog...

Watching Heroes!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Mixed (Messages?)

Guess who asked to nurse before her morning nap today???

(I'll give you a hint: It wasn't me!)

[Contented sigh]

But then guess who bit me right after nursing???

(Again, not me.)

I of course continued to rock her even after the bite. But I was staring off into space, thinking. My itty bitters cocked her head to make sure she was in my line of vision. So I turned and looked at her. She just stared into my eyes for a while. Then she smiled. It was lovely!

What are you trying to tell me, little one?

Monday, February 2, 2009

Mimi follow up....

Couldn't resist including Mimi's nice comments as well. Good advice for mommies everywhere!

"What a sweet thing to say and do. She really is right! Each stage in our babies’ lives is so very special. Each stage we have to let the apron strings go and I always had to remind myself of that. But just know that this next stage is going to be absolutely amazing. She will be having numerous and exciting accomplishments each week. We soon learn to love watching that growth and cherish each one in our hearts."

And I think you all might want to know...
Anna is on the mend! Still some wicked coughing fits but not much else to complain about!

A note from Granny...

Granny's email response to my last blog was so sweet I just had to share it:

"Whenever nursing stops, you will always have these emotions. It is a special time that I have never had in any other relationship in my life. I never could understand it when mom’ s couldn’t wait until their child stopped nursing. I wanted to look them in the eyes and tell them that they are throwing away one of the most precious times in their lives. It is a time of being truly what we are made to be physiologically, emotionally, and spiritually. I feel so sorry for women who work with infants. They miss out on a time of true balance in their lives. I felt so at one with the universe because I knew I was connected to all women at all times. It will be sad when it ends and you start the next wonderful phase of mothering. Every stage has it's endearing moments and the finality when they pass to the next leaves us missing the one they just left-no matter how old your baby is-even as grown-ups!

Hang in there!
Love, Mom"

Isn't she sweet?

Oh and by the way...

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Sniffles and Coughs

My Itty Bitters is sick.

Sick, sick, sick.

She began coughing on Tuesday and then began to gag up the nasty nosey stuff on Thursday and run a fever so we took her in.

Two urgent care visits,
Two doctor hot line calls,
one round of tears each for Curt and I,
One round of stomach destroying antibiotics later....

She's finally on the mend. But she essentially ate NOTH-ING from Thursday night till Sunday morning.

It is so hard when your child is sick. Especially when they are sicker than just the sniffles. You HATE the sickness. You get depressed and hopeless. You panic over small things because even though they are 14 months old, this is still a first! Not eating? Not nursing? For three days?

You question every decision. You decide to switch antibiotics. Then you decide to give the next dose. You decide you are definitely taking her into the ER if she coughs (and cries from the pain of coughing) another hour. Then you decide the cough is calming down. You decide to risk waking her to take her temperature. Then you convince yourself the temperature is down.

And you just worry, worry, worry. You call in backup. Granny was in town (thank God) yesterday to help and Mimi just TOOK Anna away today. Anna was feeling well enough and after days of worrying and being coughed on, Curt and I were sick and dragging.

And the worst part? She still won't nurse. I'll hold her and she'll literally take my shirt and pull it back down and say "no" in her cute baby voice. I'm still holding out hope that this is still a sickness thing. But if we're done with nursing, I'm not sure I'm ready. The mom in me is screaming "Nnnnnooooooooo!" in my frantic mommy voice. I always said I'd nurse her till she was ready to stop but this feel SO young.

The insecure part of me is worried that nursing was the ONE thing I could do that made me "the mommy". I know it's silly, but my fear is telling me that once I stop nursing, there's nothing that sets me apart from anyone else. Will she even come to me when she hurts herself? Will she reach for me when in an unfamiliar place?

My brain says "of course" but the mommy in me wants assurance.

That assurance was nursing.

Oh well. I'll accept that she's done (and celebrate by letting her spend the night at Mimi and Papa's soon... Oh yes. No baby, just hubby,) but I will mourn the passing of our special nursing times. And I'll try to not panic that she's getting older.