Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Mamma Maria's Pet Peeves

OK, I promised myself when I created this blog that I would not use it as a forum to rant. But alas my dear readers (OK, I'll be honest - Aunt Em and Kayla) now that I am an oh-so experienced mom :-) there are just a few baby related things that get my goat. (But see, it's baby related so it's almost not breaking my no-rant rule!

-TOO MUCH BABY INFORMATION!!! When you are a newbie mom and don't know what to do....ever....anytime baby makes a wierd noise or gets a rash or pulls her ear or has green poop or sleeps too little or sleeps too mcuh....... there are ENTIRELY too many sources of baby information. It made me even crazier than I normally am to have to sort through the info... (Swaddling will prevent a baby from rolling over and is therefore safe for sleeping/swaddling will trap a baby on their tummy and is therefore not safe for sleeping.) (Crying is good/crying is bad.) (MUST give vitamin D drops/don't need to give vitamin D drops) And my personal favorite.... Curt and I spent EVERY diaper change for the first two and a half weeks cleaning Anna's umbilical chord with alcohol-which she HATED. (Curt was downright fanatical about it.) My neice is born three months later and now the word is to not to clean it at all and that it can irritate the skin to do so. Anna is THREE months old PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me with this? ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!
If you really want to know what to do for a baby, ask someonw who has been a mom in the last 2-3 years! Anyone with kids older than that has ALREADY forgotten the bad times. I'm not joking. They "just can't remember" how long it took for their kid to get a nap schedule or be calm in the evenings or anything else for that matter. Now that they've got a happy, charming kid, they don't remember the early horrors. So for the next 2-3 year, ask me. I'll tell it like it is!

-Complicated baby clothes!!! If you have a baby who kicks her legs, smacks her belly, poops enough to make a diaper pointless and moves her head and that is about the extent of her activity while awake, she does NOT need to wear a cutsie little dress with matching tights and booties (that never stay on) with a matching burp cloth, sweater, and bonnet. Oh, I forgot the matching head band and swaddling blanket. What that child needs, is a nice, WARM, sturdy ONE-piece outfit that is capable of being put on while the kid is screaming and thrashing and can withstand multiple washings with bleach. And that is ALL the kid needs until she is old enough to walk. Cutsie things are nice and pretty and only cute when OTHER PEOPLE dress, undress, change, and redress your child for you! Nuff said! (As I say this, I'm and gooing at the cutsie dresses with matching burp cloths Granny bought for Anna because, well, they are just so darn precious!)

-People that call their kid "the baby" LONG after that child is old enough to say their own name and what street they live on. It's just wierd reducing that little person to their "status" in the family. We don't say, "the old fart is visiting" when the other person knows it's Bob, but we say "I've got 'the baby' here". Not sure why this one bothers me so much. Just seems creepy.

-People that say "Sleep when the baby sleeps". That's just annoying. Do I tell YOU to make yourself eat when your body is not hungry, just because there is food in front of you at the moment? Or do I insist you rush to the bathroom, simply because we are walking past one, despite the fact that you have no urge to go. Likewise, I cannot just magically makeself get sleepy just because Anna is in her bed and there is a SLIGHT chance she'll actually stay there long enoght so that I can lay down and somehow force my body to relax enough in the middle of the day to conk out while the baby monitor drones on like a crazy alarm clock that can go off at any time... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Wait, I missed what you said... I fell asleep there for a second because it happened to be a convenient time. ;-) I guess the reason this one bothers me is because I'd so very much like it to work, but it doesn't.

OK. That's it for the rant (for now- mwhoohahhahah [evil laugh].)

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